She Gets It Blog

by AmyK

Asking for Help is NOT One of the Dark Arts ;-)

empathic intelligence leadership self-acceptance self-leadership sustainable success Nov 28, 2023
AmyK curling her hair while reading notes and holding a frying pan

Hey, there! AmyK here.


Let’s dive into a myth that needs some busting.


We’ve all been conditioned to think, “I got this.”
Or … “I can do this better by myself.”
Or … “I can do it ALL, all by MYSELF!"

But … why?!


Because for years everyone praised you for being such a stellar badass – all by yourself -- and now you don’t want to disappoint anyone, including yourself.


Will asking for help really make you LESS of a badass?


Not at all.


BUT … the sticking point is that you THINK it will. And that threatens your identity.


There’s a relatively rampant misconception that asking for help equates to a relinquishment of control, is seen as a sign of weakness, or detracts somehow from your unique awesomeness.


Not sure about you, but fairly early in my life I started saying, “Do myself!” and then took it on as a mantra into adulthood.


Can you relate?


Sigh. It’s time to let this conditioned thinking gooooooo.


Here’s why.


True strength and long-term resiliency stem from our ability to recognize the real power in seeking support. Yassss, we actually GAIN MORE POWER when we construct support systems that sustain what we do best.


And let me be clear … if you’re thinking, “AmyK, I delegate all day long.”

My response is, “Good for you! And delegating is only a teeny-tiny fraction of what I’m talking about.”


What I’m aiming for is a deeper dive into your subconscious.


I want to rewire your neural networks so you believe, truly believe:

  • that being vulnerable and admitting to yourself that you CAN’T do it all,
  • that not every day is rainbows and unicorns and caramel popcorn balls,
  • that you are perhaps anxious and a tad resentful ...

... actually helps you take different actions that lead to feeling genuinely more relaxed, confident, secure, and ironically — MORE in control.


From this state of BEING [authentic acceptance of yourself -- strengths, limitations and humanness], you then act in a way that creates more internal peace and generates more productive & profitable results.


For women leaders navigating the intricate equilibrium of independence, control and resilience, here are 3 transformative tips on asking for help:


1. Cultivate Deeper Connections

Mutual giving and receiving is a powerful catalyst for building authentic connections within your professional and personal sphere. Collaboration cultivates a culture of mutual support, shines a light on unique contributions and advances the concept that we are “better together.” An invitation for someone to use their skills and talents to enhance yours [or the group’s] allows others to witness your confidence in igniting a vision and harnessing the collective intelligence of many to create a stronger outcome. A lovely byproduct of your leadership in these collaborative moments is that team members experience a deeper sense of trust and camaraderie the more they contribute, which then increases their loyalty and desire to be a high-performer.

 

2. Elevate Confidence Through Shared Wisdom

Confidence increases with more experiences, and more experiences can expand your knowledge and astuteness. By asking for help, you tap into a wellspring of collective wisdom. Recognize that seeking assistance is not a testament to inadequacy or a reflection of bandwidth, but rather an acknowledgment that growth is a collaborative journey and it’s just plain smart to gather diverse perspectives and pool the wisdom. Your willingness to learn from others not only enriches your leadership style, but also improves your decision-making.

 

3. Seek Sustainable Success

The pursuit of perfection and the desire for control often leave women leaders susceptible to burnout. By asking for help, you unlock greater potential for sustainable success. Delegation may distribute tasks but seeking help [as the natural mindset of “this is just what brilliant leaders do”] addresses the neural-root of your internal belief systems. This approach not only eases the burden on your shoulders, but also creates a resilient foundation for long-term success.

 

The outcome of asking for help, as a default behavior, is a leader who is not only in control of the collective, but also relaxed, confident, and secure in her ability to navigate the complexities of work and life.

Asking for help is not a sign of weaknessit's a declaration of your strength.

Asking for help is an acknowledgment that true empowerment comes from a collaborative journey, where truly brilliant badasses invite and welcome other brilliant badasses to the table.

Hugs,

AmyK

...

P.S.: Ready to surround yourself with some Brilliant Badass Women & soak up a TON of wisdom to skyrocket your growth & wellbeing?

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Next round: Febrary 1-4th, 2024 —*Only 4 seats* remain.

Learn more & Join the IIC right here:

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